By Gretchen McIntire
Sometimes an offering of grace is something we offer someone we love in the form of forgiveness but that can only be genuine if we first offer ourselves the same forgiveness.
This comes with a radical change in mindset that we are generally always doing our best and that even when we make poor choices, sometimes that is because we didn’t realize we had any other choices.
During this time at home when I’m not at work, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting and reading. A LOT of reading happening. I read stories of triumph from pain. I’ve been meditating deeply. I’ve been working on a life changing shift in my mindset. I want to come out of this hard time in our world not only healthier in my mindset but also deep within.
Growing up, I was on my own for the final teenage years and I made so many mistakes that I’ve recently realized I am still resenting myself for and in turn judging others for making those same mistakes. My time in Los Angeles and Houston were some of the most heartbreaking times of my life. But, boy did I learn a lot.
I didn’t feel like I was learning when I wound up living in a motel several times because I’d lost yet another job. I didn’t feel like I was learning my late husband passed away in 2006. It just felt like terrifying pain. It felt like nothing but grief. And darkness.
All these years later, in a time when the world grew still and quiet, I spent some time pouring light onto these times of my life and letting go.
I spent time pouring love into memories that seemed loveless and I felt a sense of peace growing. Each day I strive to lean more into that joy and peace I’m finding. I’m changing the stories I’ve been repeatedly telling myself. I’m finding grace.
A lot of the grace that I find comes from my faith. But some of this is more of self-forgiveness. A choice that set me free. I decided that maybe the teenage version of me did the best she could with what she had and the times she didn’t, I love her more instead of shaming her.
This last month has been an incredible month of healing. I envision all of these holes within me filling with light and love and healing.
What are three things you can do this week that bring you peace? It can be journaling, meditating, going for a walk, reading, working on a creative project- whatever brings you peace. We need more of that in this world so let’s begin with us! So much love to all of you in pain right now.
Gretchen McIntire
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