If you’ve ever been around someone on the autism spectrum, you probably noticed that we tend to be extremely blunt. We don’t try to beat around the bush when it comes to telling the hard truth.
If you don’t want the honest answer, don’t ask an autistic.
Sometimes, autistic persons give you their opinion even if you don’t want it. My oldest, when accompanying me into a dressing room to try on jeans, asked me if her legs would be as fat as mine when she got older. I didn’t ask for her unsolicited opinion. My youngest once commented that my body was gross and disgusting. As you can see, my children don’t fear knocking me down a few pegs. There is definitely no fear that I will develop an inflated sense of self.
Honestly, it didn’t really upset me that much. When you have been autistic your entire life and you give birth to children with autism, you aren’t shocked by their brutal honesty. Someone on the spectrum cannot turn on or turn off their honest opinions.
In truth, we often say things that are perceived as mean spirited and hurtful.
We do not intend to upset people. We just don’t have much of a filter when it comes to our thoughts and opinions. I would assume that most neurotypicals have some sort of filter or editing process before they say something to another individual that might be hurtful. For those of us on the spectrum, the filter doesn’t exist. We often say the first thing that pops into our heads.
Believe me when I say that I have definitely said things I later regretted. The worst feeling is when I said something I shouldn’t have and my husband or friend tells me that it was inappropriate. Of course, once the cat is out of the bag, you cannot take back what was already said.
Having no filter is just one of many autistic characteristics.
Once I accepted my autism, I realized I could try to stop myself from blurting out the first thing that came to mind. While it’s true I am who I am, I try not to be hurtful. That’s why it is so much easier to write down my thoughts than have a conversation.
Writing allows me the freedom to reread my words and edit them as needed. While many may find my honesty a breath of fresh air, many more find it abrupt and off putting. When I’m writing, I can be honest and authentic.
Often times I avoid real time conversations with people because it is too stressful. I am too focused on being appropriate. I am too nervous that I will be offensive. For me, this is where my autism is both a curse and a blessing. I want to be authentic, but I don’t want to be rude. Being honest with those around me about my autism, has allowed me to be more like me. Those closest to me know I am not trying to be mean when I speak the truth. This has been I huge gift.
I no longer need to worry about offending those I love.
I hope that people will be more accepting of those of us on the spectrum. I hope that once people are more aware of how we think and act, it removes the stigma of autism. We are not mean or rude, we’re just honest. I think the world could use a little more honesty, don’t you?
Megan Amodeo
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