My name is Englebert, and I have a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome. I made the comics below to help explain how someone with Asperger’s Syndrome might think differently compared to a neurotypical person. I’d like to share my some of my personal coping mechanisms for Asperger’s Syndrome.
I’ve always found hugging to be awkward, as there’s a fine line between giving a hug that’s either too strong or too weak. There’s also a fine line between a hug that’s awkward because it’s either too short or too long. The logic above also applies to handshakes. Thanks to Covid-19, we temporarily don’t have to worry about handshakes or hugs until everyone gets the vaccine later this year.
When I went to high school, I had a classmate named Aaron who always asked me: “shouldn’t you do your homework at home?” I wanted to slap Aaron every time he said that to me, as I felt his question was extremely annoying.
In high school, I had a crush on a girl named Michelle. Before class started in the morning, when possible, I would make an effort to chat with Michelle for a few minutes.
The dumbest thing I ever said to Michelle was “shouldn’t you do your homework at home?” Michelle didn’t say anything and looked at me with an angry glare. I apologized to Michelle immediately and never repeated that sentence again.
I realize now that I said something very stupid to Michelle because I was nervous and panicked. I said the first thing that popped into my head just to fill an awkward silence. I eventually learned after many years of practice that if you talk to a hundred girls, you stop being nervous and no longer panic. It’s obviously better to keep your mouth shut then to say something stupid to fill an awkward silence.
Surprisingly, when I said this to a girl, it actually made her laugh. I had to force myself to continue practicing my small talk, even when the small talk was occasionally painful due to awkward moments like the one above. After years of practice, small talk eventually became easier for me. I gradually had less awkward moments as my small talk slowly improved, one conversation at a time.
Neurotypical people don’t think about their opening line during small talk. In my experience, people enjoy talking about their weekends. People also enjoy talking about their vacations. As I learn more about a person, I’ll change my opening line. For example, if someone enjoys hockey, I’ll ask them if they watched the hockey game yesterday. If someone enjoys TV, I’ll ask them if they watched any TV shows recently. I have to memorize what topics other people enjoy discussing so I can customize my small talk for each person.
I generally prefer talking to people who are very blunt, so it’s easier for me to understand what they really think. People often use the compliment sandwich to soften bad news. They tell you something nice to start and begin with, so the idea is that you’ll be less upset when you hear criticism. It takes me a longer time at work to figure out how to work with a boss at work that uses compliment sandwiches. I can’t tell if I’m doing a good or bad job when someone is indirect when they share their key message.
Englebert Lau was diagnosed with a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome. The majority of Englebert’s professional career has been working in Information Technology as a Business Analyst. Englebert created http://www.hitchhikeraspie.com. The purpose of this website is to share a light-hearted perspective on Asperger’s Syndrome. Englebert would like to increase exposure about Asperger’s Syndrome for a wide range of people, by providing examples of how it affects his everyday life. Englebert loves TV and sports, especially the Calgary Flames.
