It’s like a cloud of electricity is filling my brain and then slowly explodes inside my head.

By Austin John Jones

My experience with brain spasms or out of body moments is pretty minimal compared to more severe people on the spectrum, but I want to discuss my experiences with certain brain dysfunctions that I go through from being on the spectrum.

Sometimes, my brain gathers a lot of information. And sometimes, as a release of the overload of the information, I feel an overwhelming fuzziness in my head. It’s like a cloud of electricity is filling my brain, and then slowly explodes inside my head. I call these moments: brain spasms because I have no other name for them. It’s something about myself that I have discovered. And it’s something that I currently have to live with.

These brain spasms happen pretty regularly–at least once a day or a couple times every other day. It’s almost as if my head gets really cold, and my body is reacting to how cold it is with a sudden burst of released energy to warm my body. Why do these spasms happen? Honestly, I have no idea. But they do. I have seen other people on the spectrum experience these too. Usually I can tell when they are happening because they make strange noises in reaction to it. I sometimes even have to motorboat my mouth and shake my head because these spasms are so powerful.

Let’s talk about out of body moments. These happen to me more often than I realize, but I have discovered more about them from people that I hang out with and my co-workers that have witnessed me having these “out of body” moments. It’s pretty simple. Basically I feel like my brain stops. It stops controlling my body. I become a vegetable. And I … just … sit there … as though I’m not alive … for maybe a couple seconds, maybe a minute … maybe more. And then I return. It’s honestly really scary.

I was at work the other day. And I was just doing my job, sorting Magic the Gathering cards and putting them away. And then suddenly I hear “What are you doing?” And I snap out of it. My co-worker had noticed me after like 3 minutes of me being out of it … just … sitting there … doing nothing. And I didn’t even realize it.

When I asked her about it: “how long was I out for?” she said, “a couple mins.” I didn’t even realize that I was just sitting there doing nothing for 3 whole minutes.

This has happened to me a lot of times. And it hasn’t been until now that I have started realizing when they happen. I can just be spending time with my friends, and they start waving their hand in front of my face and then I come to and I finally know it’s happening. I don’t know if anyone else experiences this kind of stuff, but please share in the comments below if you have experiences like this in your life and what you do about them!

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My name is Austin. I am an artist. I am an art teacher. I am a gamer. I am a storyteller and a writer. I love my community, I love my friends and family, and I am on the Autism Spectrum. My favorite game to play with my friends is Magic the Gathering. My favorite video game to play is Spiral Knights. I am a Guild Master of my Spiral Knights Guild: Altosk. I am an avid Hearthstone player.My favorite food to eat is Mexican Food. Specifically Carne Asada Fries and California Burritos. I went to Art Center College of Design for college and graduated with a degree in Illustration.

header picture: Austin John Jones “A Prison of the Mind”