This week’s article comes to us from Ashley Inoa, M.A., BCBA, LBA-NJ, Graham Behavior Services. To learn more about ASAT, please visit their website at www.asatonline.org. You can also sign up for ASAT’s free newsletter, Science in Autism Treatment, and like them on Facebook!

As the parent of a child with autism, the holiday season can often feel daunting: breaks or changes in schedules, large gatherings of people, even special foods and clothing. Are there strategies you might be able to share to best prepare my child, and myself, for this season?

This is a great question and a very common one, regardless of whether the holiday is religious or secular, and it cuts across all faith traditions. Although the holidays are a joyful time for families to come together, we understand how uniquely challenging they can be for families with a member on the autism spectrum. Crowded gatherings, changes in routine, and unpredictable events may be difficult for individuals with autism to navigate. With a bit of preparation and thoughtful planning, though, the holidays can be a positive and enjoyable experience for everyone.

What does the planning and preparation look like? This can look different for every family. And since we know it can be overwhelming to scour the internet for reliable answers and assistance, we’ve gathered practical strategies in one place to help you and your family navigate the holiday season with greater ease and confidence.

Reflect on Past Holidays/Experiences to Plan Ahead

A simple first step is reflection. Take a moment and revisit previous holiday seasons and family gatherings. What worked well for your child? What did not work so well? What caused stress for you? For your child? By identifying patterns, triggers, and “rough patches”—like which environments were too loud, which activities and traditions were enjoyed, or which transitions were tricky—you will be better positioned to anticipate challenges, build on successes, and create a more inclusive and joyful experience for your child.

Build Skills

Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Eid, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Diwali, Kwanzaa, or New Year’s Eve, there may be different parts to your holiday gathering, such as giving gifts, mealtimes, specific family members, or religious traditions. Practice behaviors that may be expected during the holidays, including things like waiting, saying thank you, and holiday specific greetings (e.g., “Merry Christmas, “Eid Mubarak,” “Happy Diwali,” and “Chag Pesach Sameach”). Set up scenarios so your child can rehearse these interactions. For example, have everyone in your family pretend to open a gift and make a comment, and have your child practice waiting for different lengths of time. Practicing for these scenarios may help your child know what to expect and set them up for success! Preparing children with autism for holiday traditions can make celebrations more inclusive and joyful. Some additional skills and activities—both religious and cultural that you may consider targeting in advance include, passing foods to a family member at the table, learning a song, handling religious items respectfully, lighting a candle (e.g., Advent, Hanukkah, Diwali), wearing a certain clothing item or religious garb, conducting a short reading, reciting or repeating a short blessing or phrase, listening quietly when someone else does a reading, joining in call-and-response ritual, and becoming familiar with religious images and iconography.

Preparation and ample practice can help ensure that all family members participate as fully as possible in the festivities. Consider the ways your child could participate meaningfully and then teach them skills, if necessary, to support their participation. This could include teaching your child the words to songs that will be sung or the responses needed for a call-and-response ritual. It may be important to ensure that your child understands how to handle religious items respectfully or be comfortable wearing specific items of clothing. Perhaps your child could give a short reading or recite a short blessing. Practice might be needed to light candles or to listen quietly during parts of a meal, family tradition, or a religious service. The prep work takes time, but could result in a family celebration that includes everyone. Some other skills to consider could be greeting guests and taking coats, bringing guests something to eat or drink, setting the table, clearing the table, washing dishes, and even announcing when it’s time for a group activity like, “Time for dessert,” “Let’s open the presents,” or “We’re going to break the wishbone!”

Prepare for Your Gathering

Before a gathering, try to prepare and orient your child to the experience. The holidays are already so different from your day-to-day routines, and not knowing what to expect can be overwhelming and/or difficult for an individual with autism. This can potentially lead to sensory overload, dysregulation, increased anxiety, tantrums, or other behaviors. Let’s review how you can get ahead of these situations.

Holidays usually mean seeing family or friends that you don’t typically see often. Having pictures of people who will be there, or of locations you will be going to, can help an individual with autism know what to expect and may ease anxiety. If discussing future events causes them anxiety, consider sharing these images on the day of the gathering.

Pictures can also be used to create a visual schedule of the events for the day. This can help individuals understand what to anticipate and make changes in their routine easier. Many families like yours already use some type of visual schedule, so this may not be unfamiliar to you. You can use a whiteboard, printed pictures, typed or handwritten words, or even a visual schedule that works for what you need. Visual schedules are particularly helpful as they can “provide clarity and structure that verbal instructions often lack” (Parker, 2025), but you can use whatever will make your family member feel the most at ease when talking about and moving through their day. Bringing the schedule with you will also be helpful if there are several parts to your day!

When making your schedule of events for your holiday gathering, provide as much detail as possible. Share the names of the people you will visit instead of just saying you are visiting relatives. Rather than saying, “We will sing songs,” try “We will sing songs with Grandma and Grandpa in the den” to specify the location and people involved. The more specific the information, the better. Embedding details into your preparation will help your child have a better idea of what to expect and hopefully make them feel more at ease throughout the day.

Communicate with the Host

Another key part of traveling for holiday gatherings is communicating with your host. If you are spending the holiday at someone else’s home, have a quick conversation with the host beforehand. Let them know that your family member might need flexibility with mealtime or a quiet spot to decompress if things become overstimulating. A little communication goes a long way, and most hosts are understanding and eager to help everyone feel comfortable. This is also a great way to have a game plan for overstimulation. Large gatherings and lively conversations can sometimes overwhelm individuals with autism. Plan for how to handle things if your family member starts to feel overstimulated. Set up a designated quiet area where they can retreat if they need a break. Whether it’s a guest bedroom, a cozy corner, sitting outside on the deck (weather permitting), or even the car if you are visiting family. Having a safe, quiet space to unwind can help keep everyone calm.

Include Your Child with Autism in Planning Efforts

Empower your child by fully involving them in the decision-making process if possible. Whenever there are choices to be made—big or small—invite their input. For example, ask what snacks they would like to have, what items they would like to bring, or even what music to listen to on the way to an event. These small decisions can give your child a sense of control in a day that might feel out of the ordinary. If your child enjoys novelty, consider offering new items that you have saved for them to choose from as well.

Maintain Consistency Where Possible

Needing to have consistency in their day-to-day routines is sometimes an important aspect of an individual with autism’s life. Consistency can simplify things and provide stability (Murray, 2022). During the holidays, there may be many parts of your day that will be out of the ordinary, unusual, or even unexpected, which can cause an individual with autism to feel stressed or have heightened anxiety (Staff, 2024). Keeping parts of your day unchanged by the holiday gathering can help set everyone up for success!

One way to maintain some level of consistency is to follow your usual routines. Holidays can be hectic, so try to keep some routines consistent. Many individuals with autism thrive on routine, so choose what to change carefully and stick with familiar patterns where possible. This can mean not rushing through your morning routine, trying to plan naps or rest time for their usual times, or even bringing pajamas to a later gathering to get children prepared for the night. Build these into any schedules you make. For example, highlighting that even though you’ll be away from home during dinner time, lunch will still be at home with their chosen food in their preferred seat.

Another way to maintain some consistency is to pack essentials for comfort if you are traveling. Everyone has things that make them feel more comfortable when they are away from home! Make sure to bring any comfort items your family member may need, such as a favorite toy or blanket, or a sensory item like noise-canceling headphones.

You can also have preferred foods available. If your family member is a particular eater, bring familiar foods they enjoy. This can encourage them to sit at the table with the family during mealtime, even if the location is different. You may also consider serving your child a regular, comforting meal earlier in the day. That way, they have had a chance to eat something filling, and you don’t have to worry if they are not interested in new or unfamiliar foods. A well-fed child will likely be in a better mood for the festivities! Holiday gatherings can also involve long periods between meals, so bringing snacks that your family member enjoys can be a lifesaver! Pack a few balanced snacks, like trail mix, apples with peanut butter, or a favorite granola bar, to keep them satisfied and happy throughout the day. You know your child best, so pack snacks that you are sure they will eat. This is also a great opportunity to involve them in the decision-making!

Around the Table

At many holiday gatherings or celebrations, mealtime is not only about eating, it is also the main event! Along with bringing preferred foods, consider what other aspects of mealtimes you may need to plan for or be mindful of.

One thing to consider is the length of a meal. Some holiday meals can last longer than a typical meal on an average day. Consider building in movement breaks, like going to a nearby park or for a walk in the yard, or even reassuring them that it is okay to be done with the meal before everyone else is. Practicing beforehand at home can also be a great way to expose your child to those new expectations. For example, you can help your child practice sitting for varying lengths of time, using utensils if they prefer to use their hands while eating, or even let them try a bit of the food that will be served, all in a stress-free environment (ABA Centers NJ, 2024).

Another thing to consider is avoiding food-related pressure. Many holiday gatherings are just one day, so if your family member does not want to eat anything from the holiday table, that is okay! As mentioned earlier, you can always bring comfort foods, so everyone is able to enjoy time together at the table. If you are hosting an event, you can ask ahead of time if there are any foods they would like to have included and try to involve them in food prep if they are interested – washing potatoes or mixing salad can be fun and give them a role in the meal. Keeping a relaxed attitude about food helps make the day more enjoyable for everyone.

Making New Memories

A final thing to consider is to focus on traditions beyond food. Holiday meals often involve dishes that are not part of a child’s usual diet, which can be overwhelming for individuals sensitive to new foods. Instead of making food the central focus, create other traditions that your family can look forward to. Watching the Thanksgiving Parade on TV, playing a holiday-specific game, making a snowman, or creating homemade decorations are all ways to celebrate the holidays without putting pressure on eating.

By preparing ahead, you can create an autism-friendly holiday gathering that everyone will enjoy. If your family member is receiving ABA therapy, your BCBA and team can also be a great resource in helping prepare for these joyous but out of routine occasions. Remember, your holiday gatherings do not need to be “perfect” to be meaningful. This year, let go of any expectations for a traditional holiday and embrace the moments of connection, the small traditions, the joyful memories to be made, and the joy that comes from spending time together. A little preparation goes a long way in helping create a holiday that’s enjoyable for every family member. Happy Holidays!

References

ABA Centers NJ (2024, November 26). 4 Ways to prepare your child with ASD for holiday meals. ABA Centers NJ. https://www.abacentersnj.com/blog/child-with-asd-and-holiday-meals/

Murray, F. (2022, April 27). Understanding how routines can help autistic people.Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism. https://thinkingautismguide.com/2022/04/understanding-how-routines-can-help-autistic-people.html

Parker, E. (2025, February 20). The benefits of visual schedules for children’s executive functioning. Bierman Autism Centers. https://www.biermanautism.com/resources/blog/visualschedules/

Staff. (2024, July 15). Importance of consistency in autism. Golden Care Therapy. https://goldencaretherapy.com/blogs-importance-of-consistency-in-autism/

Reference for this article:

Inoa, A. (2025). Clinical Corner: How can we prepare our child with autism and family for holidays? Science in Autism Treatment, 22(11).

About the Author

Ashley Inoa, M.A., BCBA, LBA-NJ received a Graduate Certificate in Applied Behavior Analysis from the University of Northern Colorado in 2019. After receiving her Master’s in Forensic Psychology, she began as a behavior therapist in 2017, and quickly fell in love with ABA. She has since worked in home, school, and clinic settings, working with a wide range of individuals from each.  She obtained her BCBA certification in 2022, and is currently working in school districts as a consulting BCBA, as well as continues to work in the home as a supervising BCBA with Graham Behavior Services.

The post How Can We Prepare Our Child with Autism for Holiday Celebrations? appeared first on Different Roads to Learning Blog.