This poem was written about my recent stay in mental health facility where I was admitted due to a meltdown. Miranda Wallace Ireland
Catch and Release
I am autistic because
when everyone else laughs
and I don’t think it’s funny
I don’t care to mimic you
No monkey see, no monkey do
I am autistic because when someone is cruel to me, I dare wonder why
I do not see
the part of me that’s broken in your eyes
I stare into your disrespect so you think I don’t understand
It’s me you send your laughter to
But I do
I’m just not going to fight you
Until you push and push and push
your demands more exhausting, exacting, absurd than the last and I CAN’T
Give in to you one more time so out I lash and suddenly I’m the one
who is less human
I only hurt you
when you hurt me first
you know your coercion, control
are abuse, that hurts
You dont treat me like a human
you treat me like a fish
slippery, with a silvery magic but to be gutted
Fish don’t feel pain
they said
for decades
fish don’t remember
the prisons you build
NONE of it true
Fish feel everything you do
I am not slippery
(but my magic is true)
You just can’t catch without
my making you
release
Miranda Wallace Ireland is lifelong writer and artist who uses the pen, the camera, and many other mediums in order to cope with life in Neurodivergent society. She is 36, has two children, and lives with her partners on Vancouver Island.
