Setting Your Own Pace

Setting your own pace is strategy, and don't let anyone tell you any different.  Doing less with more can be a new standard that will change your family's life for the better.  There is so much work to be done. There is so much to do, push around, pile up, clean up, set up, draw up, line up, add up, combine, separate, re-organize, compile, fix up……when in the world do we actually get to decide what is worth our time? What we do with our time actually defines the history of our lives. Do I want to be remembered as the mom who kept the cleanest house in the county, the one where everything has its place? Well, yes and no, it’s complicated. To my family, I want to be remembered as a mom who took the time to understand and develop my child as a person and cement a personal bond with my family members based in effort, love, and affection. For some families, this question is not a formal decision or a choice. For families of children with special needs it is a choice between what others consider a “normal” life and one that supports your child with special needs.

Parenting children with special needs is making a choice in so many ways to develop yourself and your children, because of course, it is a journey in which the learning curve requires skill sets as a part-time nurse, teacher, psychologist, and social worker. It is a choice to do less with more time, yes, I said, “ do LESS with more time.” It’s even unsatisfying to type. Try it….do less with more time. Here is a better way to imagine that you are unsatisfied with the amount of things you can get done in one day….and you are the worst toy maker in the world, like Will Ferrell in Elf.

While doing less and accomplishing more can be the “new normal” for special needs families during times of growth it has the potential to help parents live in the moment and bask in the warmth of the good. Taking the time needed for comprehension and slower processing is an essential component, if you are creative it opens a whole new world of possibilities for teaching with different mediums. Technology has blessed us with so many opportunities for teaching today.

So while we are at odds with the world and Wal-mart, “doing less with more”, has it’s benefits in the social and emotional lives of special needs families. The cost comes in the form of self-sacrifice whether it be your financial future and/or in your relationships with others. So while you are basking in the warmth that can be scarce at times, don’t forget to balance your checkbook, and water the blooms of your other family members. Progress is what matters, not comparison; while no child left behind is a dream rather than reality to special needs families. The celebration of effort and persistence in the face of adversity brings never ending joy, and the pure innocence of sweet accomplishment brings satisfaction.